A new royal baby: STEPHEN’S PREGNANT!!!
A real thing: Pavlok
Stephen Colbert’s Wrist Pad: attach an iPad to your arm
Hometown Hero: Detroit for the Fago alarm system at the fire department
Wag of the Finger: NASA for out-man caving every other sports fan on Earth
Wag of the Finger: to casinos to taking the Trump name in vain
A Madman who Needs to be Brought to Justice: Sonny Cuckoo
Delaware’s New Motto: Official waste of time