Pretending to be a Journalist: Reverend Al Sharpton

Chuck Dupree’s alias: Patrick Stewart

Next Year’s Sports Illustrated model for the Swimsuit Issue: Mrs. Potato Head

New Tyler Perry Character: Crimea

The True Leader of the Free World (apparently according to himself): Papa Bear O’Reilly

The Three Microwave Options of Outrage: Angry, Outraged, Popcorn

The last person to see Hansel and Gretel alive: AZ Governor Jan Brewer

Human Drone: John Kerry

Secretly 12: Bobby Jindal

Tip of the Hat: Chevron and Bobtown Pizza

Wag of the Finger: to the FDA for making people read too much

FOMO: Fear of Missing Out

Just Plain Nuts: Happy Birthday is copyrighted?!


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