THE COLBERT REPORT-WEEK OF JULY 22

Probably What Killed Helen Thomas: Seeing Geraldo Rivera’s naked selfie

Must Use Brain Bleach: Walter Cronkite taking a naked selfie

The Richest Man in Detroit: The fry guy at McDonald’s

Worm Murderer: Neil DeGrasse Tyson

The Only Story Worth Mentioning: Over 500 Al-Qaeda leaders have escaped from Abu-Graib prison in Iraq which may lead into a bloody civil war.  Who cares!!!!  There’s a new royal baby!!!!

Great Title or Greatest Title: Sir Stephen Colbert Present: Royal Afterbirth, Labor Party, Fetal Attraction, Birthing Hips Hip-Hoorah, The Prince of Wails, Spotted Dick, It’s A Boy! ‘013

The Word: Color-Bind

For New York City’s Mayor: CARLOS DANGER!!! (Not Anthony Weiner)

The GOP’s Secret Weapon to Appeal to Immigrants: Rep. Steve King (who compared immigrants to dogs)

 

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