Alternative Title to Post: Holy Crap!!! I haven’t posted in four weeks!!!!
The Definition of Congress: Those Do-Nothing F#$ktards who couldn’t solve a problem if it was eating them alive anus first.
News to Congress: They realized a sequester was going on.
How Quickly did Congress Write the Sequester Bill?: So fast that parts of the bill were handwritten.
New Word: Congraturbating
Donald Trump’s Real Name: F&*&face Von Clownstick