THE COLBERT REPORT-WEEK OF APRIL 8

All Grown Up: Neville Longbottom

Just Plain Awesome: Stephen at the Clinton Global Initiative in St. Louis

Clinton’s Personal Twitter: @PrezBillyJeff

And I Must Scream: Scientists have just discovered a tarantula the size of A HUMAN FACE

What Some People (and Apparently Exxon) are Using to Clean up the Oil Spill in Arkansas: Paper towels

Cuter than Rand Paul: His former opponent for the US Senate, Jack Conway

Needs a Spanking and Time Out: Elmo in Times Square

How Much the US has Spent on the War on Drugs: 1.5 Trillion

 

 

 

April 11

Putin punched out a Russian asteroid!

NASA Lasso

So NASA is going Armageddon on the asteroid’s ass?

Most Americans now think we should legalize marijuana, amnesty for illegal immigrants, and gay marriage

Idaho does look like a bong

We’ve spent 1.5 trillion on the war on drugs and it didn’t work?!

I didn’t vote for Rand Paul.  Have you seen Jack Conway?!  He’s so dreamy!

Nick Gillespie

The NYC Cookie Monster is a real bastard

WTF with these obscene characters?

NYC elmo needs a spanking

Mayor Bloomberg does look like a Keebler elf

Cass Sunstein

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